Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
