:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
