Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
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