She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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