Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize