dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
