Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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