found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
