i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
