i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
