Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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