Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
