they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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