david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
