I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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