it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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