Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize