I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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