nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
