i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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