We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
