Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Randomize
