it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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