You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
