I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hippo gnu deer
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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