where am i from again
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
