Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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