you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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