I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
