You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
