how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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