Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
North Korea, Best Korea!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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