redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
