Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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