About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize