Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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