I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
