We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize