just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
