I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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