Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im calling her cock vulture from now on
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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