Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize