my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
