glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just googled if crying burns calories
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I have post one night stand depression
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
