The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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