Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
