Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My first STD was from a foam party
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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