Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
