She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
