1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
