Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
