it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He did a backflip because drugs
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