I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
