you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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