I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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