Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
