why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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